Shiokara

In my family, the enjoyment of food is paramount to clever conversation. People are often judged not by their capacity for witty banter, but their ability to enjoy and appreciate really great food. And i'm not talking fine foods, like truffles or foie gras. i'm talking about soul food, my comfort food--Japanese food (not sushi and tempura) but rather Hawaiian Japanese Chinese Korean Filipino Portuguese cuisine a.k.a. "local grinds."

Food is everything in my family. At times, it was a source of pain and embarrassment when i was young. Growing up, i had many non-Asian friends. Having them over for dinner was as at times as stressful as the day of school pictures. i wished i could die and melt under the table when my dad would bust out the shiokara (a fermented fish product made from squid or fish guts) at the near end of the meal. He'd scoop up a bit of the salty dark viscous paste and dab a bit of it on his rice--to the absolute horror of my young Caucasian friends. "What's THAT? OOOH yuck, disgusting!!" they'd shriek in horror. At other times, we were the shocked ones. My brother's non-Asian friend Tim asked for butter and cinammon for his freshly steamed bowl of Japanese rice. A silent red light flashed above his seat at the dinner table. i can still remember the look on my mom's face--one of shock and slight amusement.

School lunch brings back a bad memory. One day, my mom packed me leftover Japanese okazu, tsukemono and wooden chopsticks. While other kids were unwrapping their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, i was cracking open my squeaky metal Holly Hobby lunchbox. Not knowing any better, kids teased me saying "She's eating Chinese food!" or "What's that smell?" "Eeew, what's that? Gross!" Not knowing any better, i was completely ashamed and vowed to only bring sandwiches from then on. And i did. i should note here that i'm referring to the early 70's --before sushi was trendy and commonplace and before the whole multicultural boom.

Back to the "not always about the food" bit.... We had dinner tonight with an eclectic group of friends (non-Asian) at a Mediterranean restaurant. Some dishes were laughable, and completely wrong, but it didn't matter. The company was warm, friendly, and at times hilarious and heartwarming. On this occasion and many others, i reminded myself that sometimes, food is not everything.