Hawai'i Transplant

A while ago I received a forward called, "You know you're from Hawai'i when..." It was a list of things that only those from Hawai'i would recognise about themselves. It was quite funny and true. My good friend and Oah'u transplant mentioned that it we needed a similar list for Hawai'i transplants. Though I just spent summers in Hilo, I grew up in a mainland community of Kauai and Oah'u transplants.

So here's my list:

You know you're a mainland transplant from Hawai'i when....

-You suffer a lot of awkward silences among those mainland folks who just don't get your jokes with playful racial overtones

-You're the only one clamoring to help do dishes at the ends of dinner parties

-When you notice people leaving a party, you rush to make a plate for them

-You silently scoff at those who actually take home the food they bring to a party but then remind yourself that you're not on an island

-You wince when people ask, "So, is your family Hawaiian?" And you're clearly of Asian origin

-You can turn your pidgin on and off with the greatest of ease. Or, you sometimes forget that you indeed speak another dialect!

-"Care Package" means dried squid, li hing mui, One Ton chips, and packages of poi rather than scented candles, lavender bath salts, and potpourri

-You understand where the song line "...and no go out with Mits Funai" comes from and still laugh out loud about it

-You feel an immediate sense of warmth when you inadvertantly hear pidgin being spoken in a public place

-You gravitate to Hawai'i festivals just for the food--and even if the beef stew is junk, you still feel satisfied

-People always gush, "You're SO generous" when you're just acting naturally

-You want to call your friend's parents "Uncle" and "Auntie"

-You have fun guessing the island of another Hawai'i transplant based on the pidgin slang they use

-To you, a casual dinner means you can wear a t-shirt, shorts, and slippers

-You feel a hint of shame when you tell your non-Hawai'i friends that you actually enjoy eating SPAM

-Everyone around you seems to speed walk in comparison to your easy stroll

-Whenever the topic about Hawai'i comes up you're the "expert" even if it's about a place you've never been to

-When in Las Vegas, you always stop at the California hotel for some good local food

-You've taught people that to make their palms face inward when making the "shaka sign," and not outward like a tourist

-At a potluck, your dish is usually the ugliest, but most satisfying

-It still takes you a second to realise that "flip flops" means slippers

-People think you're "overly obsessed" with food. (...unless they are Chinese)

-You naturally take your shoes off when you enter a house

-You feel that walking on carpet with shoes feels funny

-You have a large shark's tooth hanging down from your rear view mirror

-You stop to smell the papayas at Berkeley Bowl even though you would never buy them at nearly $3 each

I'm homesick. I hear ATA has cheap flights: Oakland-Hilo.